Ugly Cars

Before viewing the Nissan Juke it is essential to re-align your brain's interpretation of the visual stumuli being fed to it by staring at this web page for 30 seconds before viewing the picture above. Otherwise the Juke will appear to resemble a giant fetid jelly being sucked into a trans-dimensional vortex. Or something.

The 5GT is billed as being 'the first of its kind' - we suspect it may actually be the 'last of its kind'. It's fairly obvious really - if you want a load of stuff shifting around, you shouldn't use your executive motor, you should get someone else to do it for you.

This is a funny little convertible thing from Renault. We'll skip the obvious references to passing gas and move on to saying that a tramp from Aberdeen remarked that it looked rather like a partially-sucked toffee. Whether that's true or not I don't know - but it does look better with the roof down - mainly because there is then less of the car to look at.

Orlando Bloom is a handsome English actor. The Chevrolet Orlando is not English, not handsome, and was not in The Lord of the Rings. The city of Orlando in Florida isn't really good looking, but you can have a whole load of fun in it. The Chevy Orlando also isn't very good looking, but I can't imagine you'd be smiling in it unless you filled the cabin with nitrous oxide and ice cream.